time for reflection

credit pic - cynthiasullivan.com

A brand new year tomorrow...
What have I achieved this year?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing...

I came to a point where I just wanted to do absolutely nothing. And that is exactly what I did. I got fed-up with work. I decided that I wanted to become a stay at home mom. I decided that I do not want to do what I was doing then anymore.

I got fed-up thinking how extremely routined my life is. And I decided that a temporary break would do me alot of good. You know how we sometimes go through both highs and lows? well mine were all lows...

I guess I became like this after having things way too easy for me. I came to a point where I realised that I end up not knowing anything anymore and felt a little lost along the way. It also became a time when I wasn't as grateful, and I fail to count my blessings when opportunities where practically being thrown at me.

I lead my 2011 thinking that I know everything, and so ignorant was I that I could have become arrogant along the way.

But Allah is great, and when He opens your eyes, you will start seeing things so cleary that you can't help but say Subhanallah and Alhamdulillah for having been shown the way.

The last few months have been one where I strive to seek and find myself again. It's also a time where I decided to go back to the basics, and learnt to become closer to God. Alhamdulillah, I felt happier, more calm and less ambitious. I learned to accept things and people for what it is and who they are. I still strive for perfection, if not almost. But I also understand that you cannot have everything in life and sometimes the course you take might not work out for you in the end.

I am indeed blessed that no matter what, I still have my husband, son and family who would love me unconditionally. I am grateful to Allah S.W.T (exalted is He) that we are all blessed with good health, and there will always be love and respect in our hearts.

2012 will be a year filled with new things no doubt. and Insya Allah, it will also be a year filled with repentance, from the mistakes made in the past.